Into the Trees Into the Winds

A poem...

I am found, time and time again

Each time unlike any other

Some moments come as gentle whispers

Some as waves, with the weight of the whole ocean behind it, striking without warning

This time, I was pushed, by a city that has forgotten its gentle nature, I was pushed and then met by the cries of a baby which carried me with the most gentle of care into the trees 

Once again, I am found

As the trees reach deep into the soil for nutrients, I too reach with them

And as I prepare to be one with the winds again may I continue to nourish these newly sprouted roots from the Georgia forest

May I be one with the winds and one with the trees

May I be forever lost and forever found

End poem.

Update in a nutshell: I'm amazing! Loved the treehouse hostel in the forest (pics to come). Just entered savannah, happy is as happy does;) Be well family and friends!

A few words...

Just a few words because, honestly, I'm exhausted. I'm 32 today, I'm in Miami, Miami and I are not a match, I'm working on accepting this reality. Scheduled to depart this evening to go stay in a treehouse in Georgia. Home sickness is looming right outside my heart. I have began to miss dumb things like techie nerds and priuses.

 And as I impatiently await my Miami departure I reflect on these words "go for the trees in your heart". Words that came to me today, written in gold, from a self proclaimed Angel. 

The Heart of Nola

Lost in Audobon Park is where I found the pulse of the majestic city of New Orleans. Destination-less, I wondered through a park which heald on this day, to this girl, the heart of a grand city. I arrived by looking up from my seat on the street car to see myself surrounded by unfamiliar greens, trees, and bumblebees of all sorts. From my first step off the bus, I was lost. Lost in the infinite forms and formless beauties this space holds. I did not have to move through the park for the park moved me. The statues grabbed me unto them as I entered the park until I met the waters edge which held my hand as I walked beside it. Then the people lured me in closer and closer to finding what I had no idea I was seeking. I watched intently. Dressed in their Sunday best, both large and small groups gathered. They gathered around eachother carefully honoring eachothers space, their speech beautifully paced with just a touch of the southern draw. They gathered around blues and funk music and brown paper bags of crawfish. They gathered around pots of gumbo and corn on the cob. Their delight is gentle and supple, a delight I am not exactly used to but I am drawn to in the most subtle of ways. I followed the gatherings to what brought me to the edge of the marvelous Mississippi River. I sat amongst them and continued to get lost in the essence. Lovers sat in silence holding eachother, babies beautifully adorned crawled towards the water edge, I feel it pulling them in the same way it pulls me. Kids, wearing sagged jeans and baseball caps stroll by a top horses and the Caucasian man and his cardigan sweater hitting golf balls into the Mississippi River has taken on half a dozen African American youngsters patiently giving each a chance to forever leave their mark at the bottom of these murky waters. I continue through the park, giraffes wink at me as I pass and I now that I have touched the heart of this grand city I began to say my farewells. Forever in my heart of heart New Orleans, tata for now;) 

More concrete updates: I'm amazing! Loving every second of my trip so far. I depart for Miami via bus today. It's a LONG bus ride, wish me well. 

New Orleans Beezie style

It's 1:30 am, I'm at a burlesque show blogging this during the intermission whole pounding a coffee. So far so fantastic:) As my mom says "toot aloo"!

Day 1

As the sun rose this day, I too rose with it. I embarked early for what has been a magical first day of venturing. I experienced both my first time taking flight by myself and also tango danced for the first time with a man named black fox. Arrived in Nola around four to my bubbly beautiful Lulu, caught her up with all the "goods" and went about exploring. Notable occurrences from my first day; a selfie photo shoot on the plane with a Rastafarian poet, getting hella lost, getting found, greens cooked in coconut vinegar, A run in with Blueberry the tranny and the coining of the term "horizontal Sharknado". Feels good to taste the fruits of my hard work I put in over the last few months to make this happen. Night night:) 

Emotional Tornados and Ta Ta For Now

One week from today at this precise time, I will be extended in space, in between earth and eternity, being able to see both but touch neither.  I will be saying goodbye to most every tangible thing and person that brings me a sense of security to do what I truly want.  I will be on a plane to a distant land for the only reason that this is what I want to do.  The most important reason to ever do anything but maybe in a lot of ways the most difficult to stay true to.  And as I sit here in my local coffee shop which I commonly refer to as my "living room" I am consumed by the heavy and beautiful reality of impermanence.

I sit here and try to be with this experience which is filled with countless emotions; love, fear, excitement, sadness, longing, joy, a tinge of peace to name a few.  And as I hold all of this at once I am so intimately faced with that which is at the most forefront of my experience and that is vulnerability.  Though there is no direct threat to my physical body, my vulnerability lies in the unsureness of my safety, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And as I begin to move out of my known into the unknown the reality that everything changes hits me, not in a gentle jab in the arm kinda way, more like an unsuspecting punch in the gut.  Still I sit with what at this moment feels overwhelming, part of me wanting to dart I stay firm in my devotion to meeting things as they are.  I sit in it but I am not lost in it. I sit in it with confidence and trust in me, myself, my heart and with a devotion to kindness, love and care for all, including me.

So as I sit with what feels like an emotional tornado of some sort and prepare to part I set my intention as I lean into to the changes.  I acknowledge that this decision to travel is made with love for myself because this is what I truly want to do.  I feel into the tornado and meet this with love.  I think of all of the beautiful amazing people in my life and my heart is flooded with warmth beyond belief and I am reminded that they are forever in my heart whether they are standing in front of me directly reflecting this to me or far far away.  I reflect on my larger community, sangha (spiritual community) and my Maidens (art collective) and am humbled with immense gratitude to be a part of them for the time I have been.  I feel a deep connection to many and as I prepare to part with those connections even if  only temporarily, it seems very important to acknowledge the vulnerability of impermanence, be with it and meet it with love.  To bow to it for my conceptual mind can not conceive of it's importance but my heart knows it holds much richness.  So I set my intention and that is to meet whatever is to come as scary as it might feel with kindness, care and love.

And so I sit in my tornado, which some of you might describe as feeling crazy, and I am in love.  In love, not with an other but with life itself.

Some more tangible details of my upcoming ventures... I leave next Wednesday, April 16th and will be parting from SF to arrive in New Orleans where I will be meeting some friends for a couple of days.  From New Orleans it will just be me and my backpack, going wherever the hell we want, doing whatever the eff we want to.  The time I will be gone is undetermined but I will be returning.  I am quiting my job, putting my business on hold and am totally unclear of what I will do when I return but I do plan on returning for the time being. I will be posting at least once daily on this blog to keep peeps in the know about my adventures and to document my experiences.

So, ta ta for now my beloved, forever in my heart of hearts.